You go through situations in life to have tolerance and to understand about life. You're experiencing those things to improve your life..

I want to talk about depression about there are many people these days going through depression. I’m not writing this, because I am trying to reach out to a specific person. It’s just that I went through it myself and people I know and are here in my life are going through it themselves.

I had depression twice in my life.  One, in 2004 and a second time in 2008.  In 2004, my first ex broke up with me and I couldn’t handle being left alone; I felt deserted by him.  I did really bad in college and was on the couch, moping around.  I even didn’t know why I turned yellow, but I didn’t really have Jaundice, it was something I was drinking and after I realized I had turned yellow because of this drink, I stopped turning yellow shortly after I stopped drinking this thing.  I don’t think it made my depression worse off, but I wasn’t being myself for many years.  After I left to go to SFSU, I just went back to doing great in school. 

In 2008, I had a big crush on someone and I found out that he didn’t love me back.  Not just that, I couldn’t work because I got ill from studying so hard.  Those two things made my depression worse because I was a hardworking student and when I love, I love hard.  Anyways, I moped around on the couch for two years, not eating much, not showering, I was sleeping all day and night long.  I couldn’t believe I was able to get back on my feet after two years, and not just that I had gained so much weight from the meds that I didn’t want to go out in the public.  I hid from people mostly.

I talk about my “bad times” for two reasons.  I talk about it to get over it and I talk about it to relate to people.  Most likely if you’ve read my posts from previous, you will understand that I do not separate myself from people.  I always want to be the same as everyone, because I do not want to be different.  There’s a lot going on about people detaching themselves to people and hating people, but please don’t make enemies out of your own kind.  People explode and hurt you because they are going through something themselves.  Maybe they don’t know the rights and wrongs of society and is thinking that they are right.  People must have compassion to reach out and tell people to shake them out of their own miseries.

I, actually, didn’t have anyone shaking me to my senses back in 2004 and 2008. I got back on my feet by myself.  Sometimes you feel lonely and you just have to do things yourself to be able to get back to people because doing things on your own, let’s you understand what you need to do without being told or instructed to do.  I learned my mistakes by going through things myself, and I am wise because of the situations that brought me here today.

I am able to communicate what’s on my mind because I was done having insecurities.  Even though I have problems still like for example, anxiety, but I am truly happy now.  I’m telling you that you can get where you want to be, because that drive or hope allows you to have that spark within you to get through situations.

I will talk about hope in one of my posts.  Ask yourself, “What is hope?”  These simple questions in life don’t get asked a lot because we generally complicate things in our life and do not understand the simplicity of things and situations in our lives. 

Kids are brilliant because they ask simple questions and they make us think about why our lives are complicated when it shouldn’t be.

Anyways, you want to know how I got out of depression?  One day, I just had an inkling of what I needed to do after accepting and dealing with things.  I did talk about acceptance and dealing with things in my past posts right?  The number one thing you need to do when it comes to getting through situations is accepting what had happened.  After that you deal with it no matter how much people in your life say “don’t mope, don’t cry, don’t get depressed.”    You’re depressed for a reason because whatever it is that was important in your life didn’t make it through so that’s why you get depressed.  That depression is there to make you spend time dealing with it so you can get over it one day.  Most of time when you deal with it, you don’t go back to the situation because you have spent time thinking and feeling all you need to in order to make it out of it so you don’t go back to it. 

Everything happens for a reason, and I know that you must cry, you must mope, you must get depressed, it’s how you get over situations.  Your tolerance of dealing with things gets higher because your tolerance teaches you to have strength in life because it makes you stronger and wiser.  Situations happen because it’s your tolerance of getting through experiences in life.  Your experiences in the past mold you into the person you will be.

I am the person now because those experiences allowed you to get through these situations, and it helped me be the person I am now.

Anyways, if you are a person of compassion you will reach out to people, of which I am doing now.  I feel what you are going through and I am reaching out by writing to you, because that’s how I understand myself is by mirroring off of people.  People go through similar situations as you and you will find that you are not alone on this.

Please do not feel alone when you are in some sort of rut, because believe me, I understand. I’ve been there twice.

Anyways, please understand that things happen for a reason and that you’re only experiencing things in life because it makes you wiser and stronger.

Thanks for reading.

You can never get away from expectations…There's always some kind of expectation there when dealing with yourself and people. 

Many times I have emailed my friend about “expectations” and I told him that people can never get away from expectations.  It’s okay to want and ask for something especially when you are a relationship of some sort exchanging and sharing words, thoughts and things between the two of you or amongst you.  Especially in this day in age, when it comes to dating, you got to talk about what your expectations are and stick to them.  You may change your mind midway or sometime on your path of being in a relationship, but what you truly want is within you and it’s important to talk about your expectations.

I’m saying that you can’t get away from expectations because when you are being kind to someone, you do in a way want someone to be kind to another person if it isn’t being reciprocated towards you or you want to at least get a “Thank You” or an appreciation from that person.  There are people like me who don’t really expect anything from people but when I think about it, I really want people to learn something from me through this blog.  I want people to understand what I’ve written and somehow make a change in their lives somewhere down the road.  I may not want changes to occur now but I want people to think about what they are reading when it comes to my blog.

Telling people what you want and need is important because it’s what you really have it in you.  It’s what you expect from others and even from yourself.  WHAT YOU ASK, YOU SHALL RECEIVE, especially when it comes to the Law of Attraction. You have to visualize in your mind and take action in doing what you want and need, in order to make something happen in the Law of Attraction.  Your mind plays out something that you want in your life and taking steps towards that “want” and “need” eventually taking you to meet those goals in life. 

I am true believer in the Law of Attraction, because I learned about it in 2012.  I was watching the “Secret” video and after I learned about it, people of positivity kept on coming around. I haven’t met a single bad person in my life since then.  Everyone has been good in my life, and before that I had a lot of problems with people.  There were people who were negative in the years after but I brought them back to being positive because I also believe in “Good Karma,” helping people in need, and in turn receiving the Goodness in this world.

Everything is a cycle in life and it goes around and comes back to you.  If you are treating people good and helping people in need, it will in turn helped you in the end. I believe so much in this “Good Karma,” and I am a testament to this. 

Anyways, when it comes to expectations, please tell people what you expect from them, asking them what you need and want in life.  It’s okay to have expectations.  I have had conversations with men and I know men nowadays don’t like having expectations put on them when they trying to live the single life.  It’s okay to have expectations put on you, because it is them asking you what they need and want.  And when it comes to what you need and want, people should have “wants” and “needs” as well.  You can’t just deny people of those, when you want and need something for yourself.  If your wants and needs contradict or conflict with one another, please learn how to compromise and come out with a plan and a deal with people.  Dealing with people is a good skill to have because you are being a diplomat and know how to make decisions by making fair deals where people come out of a situation with something they feel good about.  Decisions are there to mature you and let you become an authoritative figure, especially when it comes to being a man.  Your expectations are there to make deals and decisions.  Please communicate what you are feeling when it comes to you, because you will be in the short end of the stick when you don’t communicate about yourself. 

I know it’s hard to talk about yourself, but please when it comes to your expectations and what you want and need, it allows you to evolve and become someone who has a major role in life.

It’s a fact in life when you are growing up and maturing, because it a process of learning to do things.  Everything is about learning and when you are a single person with thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs you must communicate about those things to get what you deserve in life.

What do you ask for?  Try to be positive and try to visualize what you want and need.  The universe will answer your prayers and be proactive in speaking about yourself.

Anyways…that’s what I know about expectations… expectations teach you about what you can do for yourself when it comes to dealing with people.  When you are always around people you have to think about expectations, and when it comes to yourself, you must have goals and expectations for yourself, in order to have passion(s) in life and make it to those passions and dreams.

I have many times talked about not wanting or needing anything from my "so-called" friend, but when I really think about my expectations, I realize that I want and need certain things from him. I want him to learn from me and evolve to someone better, that's why I started the whole email thing with him from the beginning, to help him with his life.  I'm here writing because I have expectations of the world. 

The thing with expectations is that you need to think hard about what you want and need from yourself and people.  When you are thinking long and hard about these things, you will know that you will have expectations whether you want to or not.

That mask that hides our insecurities only saves us in the meantime, but your insecurities are there to make you human and to connect with others because they are just like you.

Back when I was in High School, I was pretty popular with everyone and I hid behind my smiles.  Everyone who knows me, knows I have a good smile.  Can’t you tell by my picture?  Anyways, every day I went to school smiling and everyone thought that I had it good.  I was pretty lonely back in High School.  I saw people going through things themselves, and I felt that I needed to reach out to people. I had always felt good about people and wanted to help.  I saw people who were lonely.  I saw people who didn’t like their lives.  I saw people who were struggling in school with their peers and with their school life. I saw people becoming something they weren’t and living up to people’s expectations, which I was doing myself as well.  I saw people, mostly. I have always been like this since I was a little kid. I wanted to help people get to a better place, even though I didn’t have it good when I was younger. I knew that I was different but also, I knew I wasn’t different because I felt what these people I saw went through.  I gave up all of the glory of being popular in Senior Year and ditched everyone who was toxic to me.  I do regret this because these people become major players in my life later on after High School.  I couldn’t go on being that pretty 15 or 16 year old kid that seems to have everything, so I gave it all up.  I ended up letting myself go in Senior Year, and focused on school. I made it to “distinction” or straight A’s in Senior year and after High School I moved back to California. Keep in mind I was living in Massachusetts for four years during High School. 

Anyways, that mask that I put on for three years, that I was hiding behind really made people think I had it good.  At home I had problems with my sisters and my dad, mostly.  My dad was not kind at all and he didn’t understand us.  I’m not going to say what kind of father he was because people would assume he’s still like that, but he stopped doing what he did back when we were younger.  Let’s just say, he was not loving his life and put it out on us. 

I believe that mask that we hide behind, just shows that people are living their lives day by day going through things that we don’t know anything about, until you notice something or they tell you something about their lives.  That mask is a deception of whom we are.  It just saves us from letting people in and keeps those people who are bad out.  Anyways, I don’t necessarily think everyone is bad, maybe these bad people are battling within themselves as well, because they knew life differently. Everyone is going through something themselves, really when you get to know their stories.  The enemy is only there to look within yourself and feel threatened and indifferent towards them.  But if you knew your enemy and why they are the way they are, you would understand that things within our lives happened to make us a certain way.  We are a certain way to due to the causes and effects of life, which I have briefly talked about in my previous posts about the Law of Cause and Effect.  Our lives is a timeline of situations that happened that cause us to behave or treat others the way we do.  If you know that your enemy is like this, you would know that your life is reflected off of others and you go within the self to look at your ego.  Your ego is reflected off of people because most of all your ego comes out in the way you present yourself.  The self is there to hiding behind the mask, and sometimes you feel things about yourself that no one really knows or you sometimes confused about whom you are.  I was, once confused about everything and I was conflicted with myself in my younger years.  I was stuck because people did things to me that made freeze whenever something horrible happens to me.  I didn’t know how to scream when it happened, and sometimes I’m afraid that this thing will happen again, but because I’ve been through it all, I am able to get pass situations since I was able to get through the sufferings or situations that made me feel weak.  There’s people out there who go through similar situations and sometimes people open up to you because they want to feel human.  I never fantasized about being god because I love being human.  Those feelings of insecurities make me perfect and makes everyone perfect because we are able to connect and have compassion for people or for things or animals that remind us of living.    

I am reminded every day of living and I live with compassion for everything, because if I am to say that our enemies go through things and battle within themselves as well, I am having compassion for everything.  Buddha said that in order to understand everything, you must forgive everything, meaning you must have compassion even for your enemies. 

Anyways, please break through the mask and find people who understand your sufferings, so your true self can shine through.  You don’t necessarily need to tell everyone everything, but if you can, tell someone who understands and is willing to listen.  Don’t be afraid of what may happened once you’ve told people, because once you are faced with your problems for reals, you will finally have faced the world and was brave for doing so.  It’s good to be brave sometimes and open up to certain people because you may go pass your insecurities and let go.  Life is about going through situations that make you uncomfortable, dealing with it, moving on and letting go.  The situations are uncomfortable for a reason because you can always learn from it.  You don’t really learn when you are in your comfort zone.  These situations test your true character and make you human.  Even when you have failed and hit rock bottom as many times as you could, you always will find something within yourself one day however long it takes to get you back on your feet.  Sometimes it’s unpredictable and you don’t know when that spark comes, but have faith and hope because when do you have faith and hope is when you have hit rock bottom. You could even have faith and hope when you’re just living life happily but most of all when you are learning the lessons of life, when you are going through a lot is when that big o’ faith and hope comes through and then you are able to work through it and shine. 

I am shining right now, even though it sounds corny.  I have lived a beautiful life, going through the ebbs and flows of life, and now am telling you what you need to hear to get that spark going and get back on your feet.  If you don’t know when things will change or when you will have that spark to move on, just hope that something up there is listening and that there are people who understand you.  Even if you don’t believe in god, then believe that you are a living being that deserves to have a life of happiness.  Everyone deserves to be happy, and I mean it, I was once unhappy with my life, but am now living the life I am living. I am pretty happy even though I have issues with my life.  I believe that life is supposed to be imperfect for a reason for you to understand that we are not perfect like God. 

Anyways, I’m saying this with all of my heart because I used to be there where you are now.  I am doing this to help people, because I understand what you are going through.  What you’re going through, others may go through as well.  We are all the same and in a way we are unique because our differences are there to compromise or look pass since our differences show that we are the same.  We have differences because they are relatable due to these differences.  You have differences. I have differences.  We must accept whom we are according to what makes us different.  We accept because we know other way to go about life.  Acceptance is key here.  You are unique because that uniqueness is in everyone. You may feel like no one understands, so I am here telling you that I have felt different most of my life, but because I’ve heard stories from people and can relate to people, I assure you that the world understands.   

I hope you get pass your insecurities and face your problems head on.  If that one person doesn’t understand, someone else will understand.  Just give yourself a chance or chances to get through situations, let yourself be heard and a chance or chances to be happy.   

Everyone deserves to be happy and you will, too, one day.

Anyways, sometimes I put that mask on when I'm dealing with people, because I don't want people to know things about me, but let me tell you that I take that mask off sometimes and tell people my story and it feels good to know that people do understand when you give people a chance to understand you.  

Today, I found out that people go through similar situations as me and it feels good to know that being human is beautiful because we all go similar situations.  

I smile now with a real smile because I have lived my life and do not regret anything even though certain things from the past were really bad.  I really have a beautiful smile and everyone has a beautiful smile especially when they living the life they want to live. I want to live this life just the way i want to, so please shine through that mask and smile like you deserve to.

I have questions about the universe and God... I am always asking questions because when I am learning I am evolving so I will ask questions.

Why is there opposition to everything? Balance..Balance...Balance..

I don’t know if God will have someone succeed to him, because if I have been God for a while, I may even feel like giving my seat to someone who deserves it because I feel everything evolves.  You can say that you didn’t evolve throughout the years from a fetus to an eldering man or woman when you say that there is no such thing as evolution.  I see evolution in everything.  Maybe the Bible is wrong or it has been misinterpreted because when words are written or spoken there are overlaps, there are contradictions and there are things that are left unsaid.  This whole universe cannot be said in a book.  There’s so much in this universe to be saying that there are only rules that is the bible.  That’s why there are preachers who preach the words or interrupt the words from the Bible so people can worship God or not even that he may be thinking he is preaching about the bible or about God.  I don’t know whom God is to be saying that I understand God, because maybe people don’t understand God.  But if I was sitting up there in Heaven for millions or billions of years, I do know that I will need to something or someone to succeed me because if something is going on a path to something and that there’s always something to learn, that God may even have a message saying he knows something that he didn’t know before. Does God know everything? Is the Universe God’s soul mate.  I could wrong that God is alone in his seat and God doesn’t have a soul mate. If you’re high up there and you have people worshiping you, won’t you feel lonely being at the top? I’ve been put up on a pedestal all of my life, and I can say that it is very lonely being up there. Why wouldn’t God feel lonely?  He has angels and disciples with him in heaven and people spreading his words or messages, but I wouldn’t want to be God because I feel that I would be lonely.  But I would not feel lonely if I am to learn about the universe and learning is something to live by everyday, every moment in life because it is passion to learn. Do you think God also learns about the universe as well, that he watching us from heaven and learning about us.  Why would anyone have observation of us, when they have no interest or no compassion, it means that he is watching us because he is curious and learning.   Does he know what will happen because it paved our destiny and knows that we are on a way to something? I don’t know, I just have questions.  If God and his disciples are making decisions about the world, then why is he making a decision when everything is set in stone? He is going to turn our destiny around in an instance because it believes it will be end of times when he knows and decides it for us. If the world is to expand and knowledge is infinite, then we are evolving.  We are always learning within ourselves and within the universe and even beyond the universe, because we do not really know whom God is. Even after you studied the Bible do you know whom God is? I don’t know the Bible much to saying anything, but anyways, I have inklings about the world and I am preaching about what I know, because to me, I see how the world works.  I won’t deny anyone or anything, because I keep everything into consideration.

Maybe God is evolution, will you even rethink that too as well, if there’s people who believe in evolution.  Evolution is in the seasons, it’s in the weather system, it’s in the core of our earth, it’s in the lands, it’s in the way we communicate with technology, it’s with what we know, and everything to do with history, math, art, design, technology, science, and etc.  There is a beginning and ending, there is a middle and there is a continous flow of things going on where things overlap and contradict each other.  Not mention the universal laws of the universe that overlap or connect to each other.  There are contradictions because we are faced with our opposites since we must understand our entire selves.

Why would you deny things because maybe you misinterpreted the Bible.  I may even go back on my words about the Big Bang Theory because maybe another genius or great scientist will shoot down the theory of physics.  Facts are not in concrete and we are always learning through and around ourselves to be stuck thinking a certain way.  Please be open-minded when you are dealing with life.  Please don’t be offended because of my words, because I am actually evolving as I write, because I don’t know everything and I will not conclude my thoughts and feelings about things because I know I don’t know everything.   I am not a Know-it-all and I am not self-righteous, because I know that I will always learn and evolve through life.  I am going to learn from everything even though I say that I am very wise, but I am confident in what I say and know because I practice what I preach and am definite that what I know needs to heard because maybe other people like me don’t have a voice.  I am not the only one with these theories.  There are people out there who think and have feelings like me, and I do not want to be “THE ONE” whom everyone goes to about the world. I am only allowing you to think with your own mind and I have valid reasons to make you think outside of yourself. 

Why we have superiority in this world is because there are levels within our lives that let us progress and evolve.  You may be at the bottom once but you are beneath someone or something greater because there are levels above you and below you.  You will never be at the top until you succeed God.  God is above everything and he knows everything or is evolving just like us because if he is to speak through us, he must speak to us in our language(s) that is why we have the Bible.  When I speak or write, I evolve because I am always learning.  There is superiority in this world because the bottom held you up.  That is why people worship or follow others because we have leaders of this world. However, if I were a leader I would not expect people to worship me because who am I to have superiority when I once was at the bottom.  You must pull people up and let them have seat in your mind, soul and heart.  What I know about life I am sharing with people because I want people to be in my place. I want others to evolve like how I have. I want others to love and care for others. I want others to have what I have, because I know sharing and spreading the love is about humanity and about the world, and if I were to have a seat in God’s place, that I would have the message of love and compassion.  You can’t have compassion when you don’t understand something, so I ask do you understand God? I do not know the Bible so I’m not going to say I understand the Bible but I’m a grown ass woman who has gone through life through thick and thin and I am intelligent enough to ask and challenge what’s in front of me because humans are a curious species.  My curiosity may not help me in the end, but I always have questions about the world because my mind wonders and is allowed to.  There is no boundary to understanding life and wanting or having desires as long as it is not harmful.   There will be opposition in everything because life is about balance. 

You balance your life every day, thriving or even surviving in this lifetime.  There is opposition because everything has a story and if you are understand Good you must not ignore the Bad.  There is Good and Bad in everything.  That’s why there is opposition to God and why he was cast down to Eternal Hell because that story showed that you should not oppose God.  But the Devil, Satan cannot be denied because when you are speaking of God, you are keeping mind of the Evil in this world.  You can’t understand Good without Evil.  That’s why we have the Ying and Yang and the law of Polarity.  If there is no evil or bad, when you have no understanding of Good…so you must understand the balance, even the gray areas, the middle parts because there is the unknown, where you don’t know anything about and have no clue about. Only God knows and if God is everything, then these things like Gays, other religions, etc. can’t be denied.  Why do we have these people and things in life then?  You can’t deny it, because you are turning your nose away from things that are obvious and being small-minded when you don’t ask or face the reality of life.  If you don’t know, then you can’t deny it because you don’t know and don’t understand.  Please if you don’t know, please understand others and the things in life because you are blocking out things that may help you understand everything.  Don’t you want to understand?

Anyways, what is reality? It’s our perception of life.  I ask this all the time.  Is all of this an illusion that isn’t really happening or that we think we are living or aren’t really living but on a level of a dimension.  Whatever dimension we are in, I ask the universe what is this and what is that?  I am not going to be oblivious and turn the other cheek and deny what I saw or know.  If you believe God, would you ask others to deny what they believe in when really what you know or believe may not be the truth as well?

Our curiosity may lead to bite the apple in Eden’s garden, but can’t you tell that we all have inkling of knowing something and that passion of learning always and evolving every day, that evolution is there to help me improve ourselves.  Heck, I took Geometry in High School in 10^th grade, but there are middle school students who are taking Geometry right now.  WE are all evolving through life, and you can’t deny evolution, because maybe God is evolution.  WE may even destroy ourselves because we know too much, but what is the threshold where no man can go?

We are amazing with what and where we have taken ourselves, but there are limits to what we know, and this is why I will always have the burning question of if there is a god, but I cannot conclude.  I may not conclude until I die and maybe am denied access to heaven because I didn’t fully believe in God.  I may never know, but I am always going to ask questions about things because I may have valid reasons for being whom I am, since what and whom I am is to ask the universe what is, where is, why is this, this and that?  The most important question of all is the question “Why?”  Then I ask where am I in the place of knowing and then what am I do with what I may know. 

Anyways…I’m just thinking.. that’s all. I know that there’s balance to everything, because in everything there is good and bad.  You really want to know why I say that?  Because throughout life I noticed those two things in everything…  If you are really going to think you are going to weigh the pros and cons and if something is entirely bad, means the good out of it is that you do not do it again.  And if everything is good, means that it may be bad to not take it into consideration.  So there’s balance to everything.

Okay I’ll leave you with this and please tune in again whenever I have something to write about.

What it means to be human is that you are just like everyone else, suffering and battling within yourself. Have love and compassion for others...

When I see an infomercial on sending or writing a check to feed the unfortunate, I have tears in my eyes and I struggle within myself, knowing that I have a fortunate life compared to people in third world countries.  I have little to complain because I feel my life is much better here in the United State than it is in other countries.  Some people may say that “Fuck them, we need to take care of our own nation than worry about others in other countries.”  What happens there, happens here as well, because when Syrians flee from their country and come in desperation they are asking for help in dire need.  Can you imagination wanting a safe haven for your family when your country is being bombed?  Your family may be wiped out in a single destructive bomb that lands on top of you and blows up, trying to survive a war within your country.  Please have compassion because we may not have the same opportunities like we have had in the past several decades of having to be away from war.  Bombs may fly here one day if we keep isolating ourselves.  It’s good karma to help others in need despite where they are on this planet. I believe in good karma because my life has been good the past few years, helping and reaching out to people who need my compassion and help.  My life tells a story, the truth about good karma.  I have it easy now but I don’t know if this will last because whenever the universe wants to teach me a lesson about life, the universe will have something in store for me so I may always learn from life.

Anyways, I watched Holocaust survivors struggle in the cold.  Their homes have no warmth and the buckets of clean water within their homes are iced up.  This is what they do, they bargain with life each and every day to see if they can survive another day. It’s so cold they have no or little wood to burn in their furnace because they have no one to help them get the wood so they bargain with life each day until the wood runs out.  They don’t have food in their stomachs so they bargain with life to spare one more day of having some food in their stomachs.  They feel so blessed to have a bowl of baked beans and they have to bargain with life to have another like it the next day. 

Can you imagine your life bargaining with God to see if you have another day of life here on earth?  People who don’t have compassion are filled with malice because they don’t know what the struggle does to you, teaching you not to take life for granted and seeing someone going through something themselves they would have some compassion.  I have struggled many times in my life and when I see someone struggle day by day, I have compassion. I have tears in my eyes when I see someone struggle because it’s the pain and suffering they feel within themselves. It hurts to feel pain and suffering.  No one wants to struggle but I am fortunate to know how pain and suffering is because I would have these tears of compassion for people. 

It’s beautiful to have that connection with people because you know the struggle and understand one another.  I will always try to help someone or reach out to people and be the first person to do that because I have had the fortune to be helped when I really needed it.  At the time I didn’t think I needed the help, but really I was battling within myself and I was screaming so at the end, I changed my life around.

Being human is beautiful because of the tragic life we may lead.  Any moment within my life may end, and God looks at that and goes, “You are beautiful…”  Life is precious because tragedy can come anytime, teaching others about the shortness of life.  Sometimes people are so bitter at living a life, they want to end it, but they just don’t have someone to teach them about the values of living a meaningful life.  It’s meaningful when there are people within it, telling you that life is too important to waste or take for granted.  Life can drag on but if you reach out to others, strangers you may see that your life is precious just by understanding that others want your simple life.  Others may have so much tragedy in their lives that your quiet life is something they may want, because it’s simple in what they need.  All they need is a roof over their head, food in their stomachs, legs to walk on, hands to feed themselves, a mouth to eat, love and support within their communities and the ability to feel emotions and have conversations on what bothers them.

Homeless people are surviving every day.  They are on the brink of survival and don’t know if they will have another day just like the Holocaust survivors living in their country with the cold barging into their homes and not having anyone to feed them, not knowing if they will survive another day.

So please reach out to the unfortunate despite where they are on this planet.  Please if you have something to spare, please spare with your good heart and open up to another human being.  They will be blessed with your kindness.

Every day when I volunteer, I get homeless people saying “Bless you for your kindness in volunteering” and I smile everyday knowing I’ve done something kind.  I don’t know if I believe in a religion, but we all have some kind of faith or hope when it comes to living life despite what you believe in or what not.  WE are all the same in some ways, because we are battling within ourselves, whether it’s something minor like getting hungry or getting cold.  We suffer every day. 

Please if you have compassion, reach out to people or something in need.  The world needs people like you to make a difference.  That difference in sending a check to the organization may help and it just adds another day of sunshine within your life or will forever make your life more amazing because you made in difference in your heart, mind and soul.

When it comes to your heart, mind and soul, it needs comforting, something worthwhile that has meaning and makes an everlasting connection that makes you think about others and have love and compassion for your fellow citizens of your country or the world.  Everyone is apart of you and you are apart of this world.  We make up this world, and this universe, please do not ignore what’s going on this world and open your heart, mind and soul by reaching out.  

Please stop to smell the roses to have meaning in your life...

You know when I talk about something usually whatever I'm talking about is not a problem, it's just that I want to have a conversation. It's not me having issues with it still. I probably got over it but just want to converse.

People generally mistake me for that and I feel people don't really talk that much anymore so there's a lack of communication going on in this world. People are stuck on their phones, texting or being impersonal about things that they don't stop to actually have an in person conversation or to smell the roses.

Look around you there's more to life than just your job or busy life. Stop and inhale the air and exhale out again and breath in again to relax. There's a lot of beauty going on around you you just have to appreciate it…

Yeah so I get this a lot from people not really understanding that I just want to converse about life and the meaning of life. Sometimes I will talk to just to get people to relate to me. It feels good to know someone is just like me or understands me.

I know I can relate to people but people have a hard time relating to me because I tend too think about the rights and wrongs of society. I'm only trying to make people think beyond themselves but not to change anyone… I just want people to think about things so they look at their life and go “Gee… I didn't realize that…”

I do not have the right to tell someone to change but at least have them think about things and have it in the back of their minds so they will understand and maybe change when they want to. I understand that I cannot tell a man what to do because he will only change when he wants to.. I'm just giving valid reasons to the things I talk about.

So when I talk to you or anyone, I'm not really stuck on the situation I just want to converse for the sake of conversing.

There's many things I want to talk about and I rather have an one on one conversation than being impersonal. I may be a pain in the butt about wanting to talk but it's me being human and wanting that connection.

I love to converse and I love people so mostly I have the time to get personal with people because that connection when connecting to people is beautiful.

Society has made it hard to connect on a personal level and I'm not like that. I believe that there's meaning to having human contact. We should stop ignoring things or people because without communication we lack understanding and compassion.

You can have compassion without communication but mostly if you're not a compassionate person the compassion usually comes when you are being personable and connecting with people.

Please take moments in your busy schedule and look around you to see how beautiful it is to be surrounded by life, because you deserve to have those moments that have meaning within your life.

If you don't have that meaning in life please practice having that in your life.

Drama has no place at work and nonverbal communication is indeed communication...

I actually saw my sibling’s post about keeping quiet at work and I think there was drama at work. I used to work with my first ex and it was soooo drama at work that I advise to not have business relations with lovers and family. This guy was so inappropriate when I worked with him but I'm not going to say much because if I'm saying this means you will have an idea what inappropriateness is. You see it around a lot,  people turning towards bigotry.  Anyways I know my sibling because I've dealt with her. There is a sassiness about her and she gets straightforward with people.

I'm straightforward with her but we clash every time. What makes her think that she can be straightforward when others can't be with her? There is a self-righteousness and self-entitlement going on with her. Actually you have no clue who this person is and I won't point her out.

I am not entitled to being an asshole or a bitch, I rather be a nice person which I am when it comes to people but there is a healthy balance of understanding people and being ‘real’ because there is a lot of bullshit going around where people are a certain way.

Anyways if she is keeping quiet I hope she doesn't roll her eyes or looks at someone disgustingly because all of that is nonverbal communication since it's still indeed communication. I'm not sure what happened at work because she has disappeared from my life.

I'm telling you that please don't give someone the evil eye or look at someone in a disgustingly way because something like that will make someone feel something on the inside. Communication isn't just words and if your nonverbal cues are mistaken please practice communicating through nonverbal and verbal communication. There's always going to be someone thinking something because they have mistaken you but where you can have a chance to explain yourself please never stop explaining yourself.

Anyways people have started with me many times in the past and there's always misunderstandings and emotions running  high. When you have had a chance to calm down and really think things through, please give yourself a chance to explain yourself because two people not getting along is a sad thing. I don't like it when I see people fight or see people from  my life disappear because I didn't understand them.

Please be courteous to people and speak to people with respect and dignity.  The drama stays outside of the work place and please talk to people at home about your problems instead of putting your anger out at people at work.

Nonverbal language is just as offensive as someone speaking to someone negativity, it's just that the words aren't spoken. When someone rolls their eyes at you or gives you that disgustingly look, don't you feel mad or offended? My other sibling does this to me but I know she's playing around.

Anyways if you are going to keep quiet at work please keep to yourself and stay out of the drama.

Drama has no place at work.