I want to talk about depression about there are many people
these days going through depression. I’m not writing this, because I am trying
to reach out to a specific person. It’s just that I went through it myself and
people I know and are here in my life are going through it themselves.
I had depression twice in my life. One, in 2004 and a second time in 2008. In 2004, my first ex broke up with me and I
couldn’t handle being left alone; I felt deserted by him. I did really bad in college and was on the
couch, moping around. I even didn’t know
why I turned yellow, but I didn’t really have Jaundice, it was something I was
drinking and after I realized I had turned yellow because of this drink, I
stopped turning yellow shortly after I stopped drinking this thing. I don’t think it made my depression worse
off, but I wasn’t being myself for many years.
After I left to go to SFSU, I just went back to doing great in school.
In 2008, I had a big crush on someone and I found out that
he didn’t love me back. Not just that, I
couldn’t work because I got ill from studying so hard. Those two things made my depression worse because
I was a hardworking student and when I love, I love hard. Anyways, I moped around on the couch for two
years, not eating much, not showering, I was sleeping all day and night
long. I couldn’t believe I was able to
get back on my feet after two years, and not just that I had gained so much
weight from the meds that I didn’t want to go out in the public. I hid from people mostly.
I talk about my “bad times” for two reasons. I talk about it to get over it and I talk
about it to relate to people. Most likely if you’ve read my posts from previous, you will understand that I do not
separate myself from people. I always
want to be the same as everyone, because I do not want to be different. There’s a lot going on about people detaching
themselves to people and hating people, but please don’t make enemies out of
your own kind. People explode and hurt
you because they are going through something themselves. Maybe they don’t know the rights and wrongs
of society and is thinking that they are right.
People must have compassion to reach out and tell people to shake them
out of their own miseries.
I, actually, didn’t have anyone shaking me to my senses back
in 2004 and 2008. I got back on my feet by myself. Sometimes you feel lonely and you just have
to do things yourself to be able to get back to people because doing things on
your own, let’s you understand what you need to do without being told or
instructed to do. I learned my mistakes
by going through things myself, and I am wise because of the situations that
brought me here today.
I am able to communicate what’s on my mind because I was
done having insecurities. Even though I
have problems still like for example, anxiety, but I am truly happy now. I’m telling you that you can get where you
want to be, because that drive or hope allows you to have that spark within you
to get through situations.
I will talk about hope in one of my posts. Ask yourself, “What is hope?” These simple questions in life don’t get asked
a lot because we generally complicate things in our life and do not understand
the simplicity of things and situations in our lives.
Kids are brilliant because they ask simple questions and
they make us think about why our lives are complicated when it shouldn’t be.
Anyways, you want to know how I got out of depression? One day, I just had an inkling of what I
needed to do after accepting and dealing with things. I did talk about acceptance and dealing with
things in my past posts right? The number
one thing you need to do when it comes to getting through situations is
accepting what had happened. After that
you deal with it no matter how much people in your life say “don’t mope, don’t
cry, don’t get depressed.” You’re depressed for a reason because
whatever it is that was important in your life didn’t make it through so that’s
why you get depressed. That depression
is there to make you spend time dealing with it so you can get over it one day. Most of time when you deal with it, you don’t
go back to the situation because you have spent time thinking and feeling all
you need to in order to make it out of it so you don’t go back to it.
Everything happens for a reason, and I know that you must
cry, you must mope, you must get depressed, it’s how you get over
situations. Your tolerance of dealing
with things gets higher because your tolerance teaches you to have strength in
life because it makes you stronger and wiser.
Situations happen because it’s your tolerance of getting through
experiences in life. Your experiences in
the past mold you into the person you will be.
I am the person now because those experiences allowed you to
get through these situations, and it helped me be the person I am now.
Anyways, if you are a person of compassion you will reach
out to people, of which I am doing now.
I feel what you are going through and I am reaching out by writing to
you, because that’s how I understand myself is by mirroring off of people. People go through similar situations as you
and you will find that you are not alone on this.
Please do not feel alone when you are in some sort of rut,
because believe me, I understand. I’ve been there twice.
Anyways, please understand that things happen for a reason
and that you’re only experiencing things in life because it makes you wiser and
stronger.
Thanks for reading.
